Ravana! Ten Heads and One big Heart

The sweet sound of victory…The audience applauding. The accolades after the performance.The myriad voices shouting ‘Bravo!’. I used to win that competition. I used to…3 years in a row. The National Piano Maestro Competition. The most prestigious piano competition in India. I could never win it again....
Hi! My name is Ravana. Life with ten heads is tough. Since I was young I
always felt life was a burden. My mother always complained. She had to buy ten feeding bottles at a time. Breast feeding me was near impossible ( as you can imagine). Burping me holding ten heads at once wasint easy. My brother Kumbakarna always joked that when I burped after meals it sounded like a concerto of frogs! We needed eight maids at all times. Brushing my teeth was a nightmare. I had ten heads but only two hands! I could never decide whether to go left to right or vice versa. Combing my hair was no easier. My barber always complained that one head wanted to look like Laloo and another like Abdul Kalaam.

Yes my heads had opinions of their own. At night I couldint sleep because if one head wanted to turn the other did not. All the kids made fun of me at school. They called me names. They called me TENzing because I liked mountain climbing .They were mean. So went to the movies alone bought ten tickets and sat in the back row. Night clubs were too expensive . They charged One Hundred Rupees per head!

But things were not all bad. In summer I worked in a call center and made a lot of money since I could talk to ten people at once. And I never failed at school since I could read ten books at once. I was also a whiz at Quiz. I was the school champion at all the Inter School festivals. However I became a star after I learned to play the piano. Head 3 took to the piano like a duck to water. I began to win every competition. Then Head 8 began to play chess. In under a year I was seeded fourth in Karnataka. Success was getting to my heads ( so to speak). Then I got this letter from the USA. It was an all expense paid invitation to play at an International Piano Competetion. I was going to the U.S.A ! Maybe I could meet Kasparov....

New York was everything I dreamed it would be. The flight there was my most memorable experience. I had to get 10 seats of course. And keep the air sickness bags pinned to the seats in front of each head. Just in case. And wear adult diapers. (My heads wouldn’t fit in those tiny airplane bathrooms ) But I could watch all the movies on the flight. At the same time! One of the privileges of having 10 heads. But I had to walk sideways down the aisles . I discovered all the good looking girls seemed to sit in the center aisle. One girl made eyes at me. But then I found out she was just looking for her glasses. I was never very good with girls. Finally we landed in New York.

Immigration was hell. The guy at the counter asked for 10 visas and 10
passports! And insisted on interviewing each head! I couldn’t convince him that one couldn’t be a terrorist if the other was’int. When the ordeal ended I went into New York City.

New York City! One cabbie almost drove onto the sidewalk looking at me! Everywhere I had to listen to funny oneliners like 'Hey do they call you the Talking Heads?’, ' I couldn’t hire you in my company. U would be too much Overheads!', 'Do they have Heads Crossing Signs where you live?’, 'When your in Love do u fall Heads over heels?!’. And sometimes they were actually funny.

That’s where I met Gita. Let me explain. Like I said before I was never very popular with girls. They were always afraid of me. One girl told me it was tough making eye contact! But still I liked girls. I had this strange dream where Im kissing 10 girls at once. I have never told anyone about that dream until now. But girls never liked me. Until……………………Gita.

She was my opponent. She lived in Bangalore too. I noticed she kept staring. At first I thought I was mistaken. Then after the Quiz she came to talk to me. And asked for my phone number! No girl had ever asked me for my phone number. She called that evening. We began to date. She always insisted on talking to each head when she phoned me. One minute for each. Head 3 always tried to talk longer. ( He thought she liked him more). Head 8 however refused to speak to Gita. I saw a problem developing.

You see Heads 3 and 8 were always a little smarter than the others. We all accepted that. But at one college festival during a debate I realized things were much more serious than I thought. It was no longer just an occasional disagreement. Then one day something happened that made me feel like my whole world was collapsing around me.....

I was participating in a debate. Head 3 was speaking for the motion. The
topic was `Did India need a 2 Party System?’ One of the debaters had heard about the difference of opinion between Heads 3 and 8. So he decided to take advantage. He addressed Head 8 instead of Head 3. ` What do you think Head 8’, he asked. Head 8 began to speak out of turn.! He spoke AGAINST the motion. I was supposed to speak FOR the motion! 'Freedom means no restrictions ', he said , 'If we limit the number of parties we are restricting freedom.'. He went on and on. We lost of course.

Two groups began to form. One for Head 3 and the other for Head 8. Head 3 liked Chinese. Head 8 liked Dosas. Head 3 liked Politics. Head 8 liked Ethics. Always opposites! But we were like a coalition government. We had to follow rules. We had to agree to disagree. Unless we were able to do that we would never be able to live together peacefully. Without consensus we were as good as dead. Things were spiralling downhill. Until one day Kumbakarna suggested a therapist he knew. For someone who sleeps most of the time he sure knows a lot of people.

The therapist said only the head she talked to was to reply. No
interruptions. And she then talked to each head. I could see what she was doing. She was establishing points of commonality. Making us see the common good. United we stand. Divided we fall. I talked and talked. How much I needed this. To get it all off my chest. I told her everything. I told her about my difficulty with girls. She smiled when I told her about Gita. She made notes as I talked. Then I began to talk about marriage and the disputes between the Heads. Suddenly all heads seemed to go crazy . They were all talking at once. My hands were out of control. I felt myself reaching for the paper cutter. Head 3 was trying to gouge out Head 8’s eyes! I couldn’t take this anymore. I ran out of the room.

I got into my car. It was a special car. The steering was in the middle. I
wasint allowed to drive over 60. I was driving way too fast. All the heads
were fighting. This was the end. But I didn’t care. If we couldn’t get along
we were going to die anyway. The speedometer was clocking 100. Then 120.

Suddenly a truck appeared out of nowhere. Last thing I remember I hit a
tree. Head on.

I woke up in the Hospital. The therapist was there. Kumbakarna was there. He squeezed my hand.

'Are u OK ?' , he asked.

' I followed you all the way’, the therapist said. 'I pulled u out of the
car just in time.'

All of a sudden it struck me. I couldn’t feel Heads 3 and 8.

'We had to disable them ', she said, ' There was no other way'.

' Go away' , I said hopelessly, ' Just go.'

Gita still kisses Heads 3 and 8 every night. She refuses to accept that they are gone. I don’t make as much money in call centers anymore. Ok Its just a little bit less. But Head 8 was so good with the British. We could have worked things out. They would have come around. Heads 3 and 8. They would have understood. They would have. I m sure. Oh how I miss the sweet sound of 'Bravo'..........